Category Archives: discipleship

Another Great Resource for Family Worship: The Gospel Story Bible

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For almost a year now I have been recommending Marty Machowski’s Long Story Short: Ten Minute Devotions to Draw Your Family to God.  Now I’m thankful that Machowski has put out another excellent resource to add the to arsenal of solid, biblical family worship resources.  His new work, The Gospel Story Bible.

There are too many “Bible story books” out there on the market that have little teaching and instruction on the Gospel.  Machowski takes the guess work out for parents when it comes to relating biblical narrative to the Gospel.  Each story is creative, easy to read, and does an excellent job of pointing our children to Jesus in the Bible stories that we all know and love.  Order a copy for your family today!

I recommend this book for families with Children 3-8 years old.

See my previous post on resources for family worship.

Time for “The Talk” – Biblical and Practical Advise

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I recently discovered a gem in the world of parenting in a new work called Time for the Talk – Leading Your Son Into True Manhood. I cannot recommend this resource enough for fathers seeking to raise godly sons in a world that distorts true biblical sexuality.  Time for the Talk is authored by Steve Zollos who is a medical doctor and a Christian dad with four sons.  He does an excellent job of walking parents through “The Talk.”  I highly recommend you pick up a copy.

Gleaning from Zollos work, I wanted to share with you some biblical and practical wisdom for parents when it comes to thinking through having the sex talk with a teen or pre-teen.

  1. When? Is your teen emotionally, spiritually, physically ready for the sex talk.  Begin before hormones kick into gear.  Continue after hormones are in gear and their bodies are undergoing changes.  For some it will begin as early at 10 or 11 and for other it may be that they’re not mature enough till 15 or 16.  Notice changes in their body and changes in their behavior/interest of opposite sex.
  2. Location. Plan an individual time with your teen.  Location is key!  The place should be relaxing, non-threatening, and not a chance of interruption.  It needs to be a significant time and your teen/pre-teen needs to pick up on this.  It should be natural (don’t have the sex talk your first time camping).
  3. Talk, not lecture. Make sure it is a conversation, not a lecture.  Remember that you are in authority over them – parent them through the conversation (don’t act like a peer).
  4. Assure them that this is normal and that they are normal.  It is a scary thing for a teen/child to hit puberty and have no idea what is happening to them.
  5. Ask me anything.  Let them ask questions.  No questions should be off limits.
  6. Maintain confidence.  Assure them of your confidence. The conversation will remain private between the two of you.
  7. Use the Bible.  Go to Genesis 1-3 to explain a biblical view of sex.  Use the creation/fall/redemption paradigm when explaining God’s creation of sex.
  8. Discuss Male and Female Anatomy.  Discuss the basics: body hair, body odor, muscles, voice, etc…  Then discuss more personal anatomy like: new body hair, male/female reproductive parts, and other pertinent information about male and female anatomy (make sure to give appropriate warnings here!).
  9. Focus on the beauty of sex & sexuality.  Always try to draw the conversation back in a biblically positive direction.
  10. Preach Self-control.  Talk about the importance of self-control with regards to our sexual nature.  Natural does not necessarily mean neutral when it comes to our sex nature.  Uses passage like 1 Corinthians 6 and  1 Thessalonians 4 to help.
  11. Discuss the dangers of sexual sin. Hebrews 13:4 is very clear about this.
  12. Discuss safe sex.  Give appropriate warnings about temptations, STD’s, birth control & abortion. Balance with joy, and God’s plan for sex and marriage.

I hope this helps!

Five Barriers to Healthy Communication with Your Teen

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I’ve had the privilege and blessing of teaching a class on Wednesday evenings to parents of teenagers called Just Tell Me What to Do!  I know, I know, I set myself up for failure with a title like that.  Anyways, last week we looked at healthy communication with teenagers.  I think these tips can be helpful for both parents and youth workers.  Here are the barriers:

  1. Failure to realize you (the parent) are in charge (see Eph. 6:1).  My favorite illustration of this came from an ESPN analyst on Twitter after the PSU students rioted when Paterno was fired.  His wise words, “This is the reason why there are adults in charge of this world.”  Teens need authority.  That is the Creator’s design.
  2. Busyness!  Your business and your child’s business (sports, activities, etc…) can be a huge barrier to quality time and heathy communication.  As parents we have got to quit killing ourselves and learn to say “no” somethings (probably a lot of things).
  3. Lack of understanding/knowledge of teen culture.  As parents, we have to be on our game when it comes to social media, technology, hormones, etc…We’ve got to study and learn their world so we can reach them.
  4. Unwholesome talk (see Eph. 4:29, 6:4).  Your tone, your mood, your language, are all important factors when talking with a teenager learning to become an adult.  Are you demeaning your child in front of siblings & friends?  All of these facets are important.
  5. Lack of Affirmation.  Are you constantly negative with your child?  Is there any honesty and a sense of building-up when talking with you child?  Practice daily compliments with your teenager.  Seek to build them up!  My friend shared a great illustration of this from a Desiring God interview with Sam Crabree.  Please go to 16:40 – 19:10 on the video.  Click here!

Do I have to talk to my 5 year-old about porn?

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Tips for talking to your kids about porn:  Important issues for important ages

I’m thankful for this article by David Wever because he raises some important questions and action steps for parents.  Most of us who are parents probably don’t think that we need to talk to our 3, 4, or 5 year-old about porn.  I would agree that we probably don’t need to define what porn is to a 3, 4, or 5 year-old but we do need to begin to put in place safeguards to protection our children.

Please read this article as Wever gives practical helps for parents with pre-schoolers, elementary, middle school, and high school children.

Click here!

Song of the Stars – new book to point our children to Jesus this Christmas

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If you know me or have read this blog before you know that I am a huge fan of Sally Lloyd-Jones and her children’s bible The Jesus Storybook Bible.  The Bible is one of the best if not the best Bible story book for children that there is.  It is the best because is very theological sound and every story is not just some cute children’s story with no meaning – it is the best because every story literally points children (and adults for that matter) to Jesus.

Well this Christmas Lloyd-Jones has done it again with her new work: Song of the Stars – A Christmas Story.  I highly recommend this new work!  My wife and I picked up a copy yesterday and we were enamored with it immediately and cannot wait to share it with our children.

Part of being an intentional parent is being intentional about the meaning of Christmas.  This new work by Sally Lloyd-Jones will help you be intentional about pointing your kids to Jesus this Christmas.  Pick one up today!

More Parenting Help from the Proverbs…

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When talking, teaching, and learning about parenting, a conversation that always comes up is, “How do you discipline your child?”  This is a tough question that gets a ton of different answers.

First and foremost we want our parenting to be biblical … What does the Bible say about parenting?  In this case, what does the Bible say about discipline?

It is important to remember that discipline is not aways correction with force – it primarily means to teach or to instruct.  Our children need to be corrected and instructed in the “way they should go” (Prov. 22:6).  At times this means correcting with corporal punishment.  Now there is a word that gets people upset!

Corporal means of or relating to the body.  Corporal punishment then is to punish a wrong-doer by means physical punishment.  In the world of child training, this most often means a spanking (or a “pop” in my house).

At risk of saying too much, I invite you to study what the Bible says about this matter. Please see the attached study on Biblical Discipline in the Proverbs and ask God to teach you about this very important area of child training.

Biblical Discipline in Proverbs

Parenting Help from the Proverbs

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I’m a big believer that parents should be life-long learners of how to be effective and biblical parents (at least while all the children are at home). To me, this means constantly reading and studying about parenting.  It could be as simple as taking a couple of passages in the Bible about parenting and spending some significant time meditating on them.  It could also mean reading a good book on biblical parenting (see a list here).

A friend of mine recently passed along to me another exercise that I have found to be extremely helpful, practical, and fun.  Please see the attached document Parenting from the Proverbs. This is a simple study of God’s Word that encourages parents to dig into God’s Word and seek His will from the Holy Scriptures.  This is a great way to start being a “learner” when it comes to parenting.  I encourage you and your spouse to dive into the exercise and see what the Holy Spirit will teach you about biblical parenting from the Word.  Enjoy!

Please visit my post on Proverbs 22:6.

Attachement:  parenting from the proverbs

Fathers: What Does Quality Time With Your Children Look Like?

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Before I begin I must make a confession, everything that I’m about to write in this blog post (or any of the preceding blog posts for that matter) I need to practice desperately!  Now on to the real content.

I have been meeting with a group of men on Friday mornings for over 6 years now.  This is a small group of guys who are in similar life-stages.  During this time we seek to pray for one another, encourage one another, and study God’s Word together.  This group has been one of the single greatest blessings to my personal walk and ministry.  I’m so thankful for these men.

We are currently studying a book called The Masculine Mandate by Richard Phillips.  This book has been such a blessing.  In one the chapters Phillips begins to deal with a very serious yet practical issue, “what does quality time with children look like for a father?” Continue reading →

Youth Pastors Perspective: Keeping Youth in the Church When They “Grow Up”

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I love this article and this youth pastor’s assessment of what it takes to keep youth in the church when they become adults. His assessment is practical, Biblical, and strikes right at the heart of the relationship that the Church and the Home must have to reach the next generation.

Read it here!

A Little Twist on Proverbs 22:6

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“Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” ~Proverbs 22:6

I have recently been doing some reflecting and studying on this verse. I also have been learning Biblical Hebrew which means I’m now armed and dangerous. In my musings and studies I came a cross an article that explored the original meaning of this verse based on the Biblical Hebrew from which we get our English translations.

To make a long explanation short and less boring I will just say that the original Hebrew suggest another way in which this verse can be read/interpreted. It is hard to get the exact since in English as it is in Hebrew but it may read something like this: “Train up a child in his way and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Did you catch the subtlety of that minor change? In other words in our child rearing if we just let a child do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and in “his” way then that is the only way he will know. If we train him up in “his” way than he will be raised and taught to think that the world revolves around him and he can get whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

Often times parenting can just default to this line of thinking and child training. Parenting is hard and often times it just seams like too much work to get a child to obey you and obey the Lord. That’s the beautify of this subtle change in the interpretation. It should convict you thoroughly. If you train your child to think that he can live and act however he wants, then when he is all grown up – then that is exactly how will act.

How we raise our children matters now. If we train them now to follow the Lord’s way and shepherd the hearts to live obediently now – it matters well into the future. So let’s heed this simple advice and this slightly different twist on this well known Proverb. Let’s train our children according to God’s way, training them to live a life of obedience under God and under the authority of their parents, and not according to their own wants and desires because until the begin to learn otherwise, they are sinful sinners, saved by grace, who need a little guidance … just like all of us. Right?