Principle 11: Train Your Child to Redeem Their Time

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.  (Proverbs 22:6 ESV)

You may have heard the ole saying, “Idleness is the devil’s best friend,” or the old English proverb, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” but how does that relate to our child training?

One of my children’s favorite books these days is The Berenstain Bears Go to Camp.  My boys are fascinated by the outdoors these days and this books wows their imagination.  As I’ve thought through this story, little did the author of this book know that he was teaching about idleness.  The book starts off with Brother Bear and Sister Bear excited that school was out and now they were going to sit around and do absolutely “nothing.”  Thankfully Momma Bear had a plan and it didn’t involve doing nothing.  Momma Bear hands them a brochure for summer camp and so the dreams of doing nothing quickly turn into days filled with fun and adventure; anything but idleness.

Ryle points out that “No created being was ever meant to be idle.”  What he means is that God simply designed us to work.  Left to ourselves we are weak and sinful and we need something to do or we will naturally become idle.  We need something to keep us active or we will find our selves in unhealthy state of mind and being.  Again Ryle exhorts, “We must have our hands filed, and our minds occupied with something, or else our imaginations will soon ferment and breed mischief.”  It doesn’t take long to see a child’s mind “breed mischief” when he or she has nothing to do.

Ryle believes that idleness can lead to more sin than almost anything other habit we could develop.  He goes so far to say that idleness may very well be the mother many of sins: adultery, fornication, drunkenness, and many other deeds of darkness.  ”It is still water which becomes stagnant and impure: the running, moving streams are always clear.”  When our minds are active and moving, they are hard targets for the devil to hit.

As parents we are called to set these things before the minds and hearts of our children.  As parents we are called to teach our children the value of time and to be good stewards of the time that God gives them.  Teach them to glorify God and enjoy Him through work: missions, serving others, cultivating the earth, and yes, even play.  Children, as all human beings, are called to redeem the time.

If we are to love our children well, we are to teach them that idleness is a sin.

Practically speaking, this warning against idleness is not to be used as a reason to over-schedule our children with so many activities and sports that the worship of God and the beauty of the Sabbath is neglected. Rather, encourage your children to give themselves whole hearted to pursuing a relationship with God and to glorify God in their play.

Read 2 Thessalonians 3:6-12 for further biblical encouragement on this matter.

This article has been adapted and updated from J.C. Ryle’s work “The Duties of Parents.”  It is part of a series of articles that look at the practical parenting applications of Proverbs 22:6.

What Jesus Did

On the cross…

Jesus, the Maker of the world, was being unmade. Why? Jesus was experiencing our judgment day. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” It wasn’t a rhetorical question. And the answer is: For you, for me, for us. Jesus was forsaken by God so that we would never have to be. The judgment that should have fallen on us fell instead on Jesus.

~From Tim Keller, Kings Cross, p. 202

Frantic Family Model

From time to time in our family life we have found it necessary to step back and focus on certain goals.  Many times those goals center around discipleship and how we need to incorporate the means of grace more into our individual lives and the lives of our children.

A great help to this approach of stepping back and examining our goals and striving to accomplish these goals is the Frantic Family Model by Patrick Lencioni.  I highly recommend this tool.  It will help you slow down and figure out what to do with your “frantic family.”

Download the Frantic Family Model

 

For more information about The Frantic Family click here!

More Parenting Help from the Proverbs…

When talking, teaching, and learning about parenting, a conversation that always comes up is, “How do you discipline your child?”  This is a tough question that gets a ton of different answers.

First and foremost we want our parenting to be biblical … What does the Bible say about parenting?  In this case, what does the Bible say about discipline?

It is important to remember that discipline is not aways correction with force – it primarily means to teach or to instruct.  Our children need to be corrected and instructed in the “way they should go” (Prov. 22:6).  At times this means correcting with corporal punishment.  Now there is a word that gets people upset!

Corporal means of or relating to the body.  Corporal punishment then is to punish a wrong-doer by means physical punishment.  In the world of child training, this most often means a spanking (or a “pop” in my house).

At risk of saying too much, I invite you to study what the Bible says about this matter. Please see the attached study on Biblical Discipline in the Proverbs and ask God to teach you about this very important area of child training.

Biblical Discipline in Proverbs

Parenting Help from the Proverbs

I’m a big believer that parents should be life-long learners of how to be effective and biblical parents (at least while all the children are at home). To me, this means constantly reading and studying about parenting.  It could be as simple as taking a couple of passages in the Bible about parenting and spending some significant time meditating on them.  It could also mean reading a good book on biblical parenting (see a list here).

A friend of mine recently passed along to me another exercise that I have found to be extremely helpful, practical, and fun.  Please see the attached document Parenting from the Proverbs. This is a simple study of God’s Word that encourages parents to dig into God’s Word and seek His will from the Holy Scriptures.  This is a great way to start being a “learner” when it comes to parenting.  I encourage you and your spouse to dive into the exercise and see what the Holy Spirit will teach you about biblical parenting from the Word.  Enjoy!

Please visit my post on Proverbs 22:6.

Attachement:  parenting from the proverbs

Fathers: What Does Quality Time With Your Children Look Like?

Before I begin I must make a confession, everything that I’m about to write in this blog post (or any of the preceding blog posts for that matter) I need to practice desperately!  Now on to the real content.

I have been meeting with a group of men on Friday mornings for over 6 years now.  This is a small group of guys who are in similar life-stages.  During this time we seek to pray for one another, encourage one another, and study God’s Word together.  This group has been one of the single greatest blessings to my personal walk and ministry.  I’m so thankful for these men.

We are currently studying a book called The Masculine Mandate by Richard Phillips.  This book has been such a blessing.  In one the chapters Phillips begins to deal with a very serious yet practical issue, “what does quality time with children look like for a father?” Continue reading